The Importance of Defining Terms

As readers, we are constantly experiencing “firsts”. If we are not prepared, they can throw us for a loop or effect our confidence. I remember one “first” that caused me to question myself for a while. Upon some honest reflection, I learned something about myself and what I strive for in a reading.

Here’s what happened: A client wrote to tell me how disappointed she was with our reading, saying it was the most negative she’d ever had. I did not remember it as being negative. I thought aspects of the situation we were exploring were negative. In truth, I thought some of the client’s attitudes were self-defeating, but the reading was what I always strive for: honest, practical, and useful.

Two people experienced the same reading. Two very different opinions about that reading. As is often the case, I think we are both right. The apparent disagreement is due, quite simply, to using different definitions for the same word or phrase, in this case “negative reading.”

The Reading

Before sharing my ideas about the definitions of the phrase “negative reading,” I’ll give an overview of the reading:

The client is concerned because she received a reprimand at work. She wanted to know if her job was in jeopardy and if she could transfer to another part of the company. She shared that she usually “rubbed people the wrong way,” knew she and her boss “would never see eye to eye,” and that her boss’s assistant was “mentally unstable.”

The cards showed that she was right to be concerned; current job was in jeopardy, that yes she could transfer in time. However unless she addressed the personnel issues that she would simply be repeating a cycle and experience similar conflicts no matter where she went within the company.

At this point I asked if she wanted to explore how to resolved the issues with the personnel (the boss and assistant). She responded that no, she had no interest in learning skills or techniques to work better with those people.

Then I offered to explore of options, which we did, for there were many Major Arcana cards (including Death) indicating a time of change and transformation. There was also the Ace of Pentacles and the Star, which showed me that she was perfectly positioned to find a path that would be so much more fulfilling for her than simply just taking another position.

As we ended the reading, I reviewed the major points and suggested practical steps to begin this exciting new phase in her life.

The Definitions

The client wrote to me the next day. She said that all she really wanted was to be assured that she would get another job with the same company soon. Because the answer was “yes, although it may take a while and you will repeat this same cycle, experiencing the same problems,” she considered it a negative reading.

So her definition of a negative reading in this case is reading that does not tell her what she hoped to hear.

My definition of a negative reading is one that describes a situation as hopeless and offers the client no options or actions to change the situation…or at the very least a way to view the situation that provides some comfort or understanding.

For me, what the client wants to hear has no bearing on whether the reading is negative or positive.

I suppose what also makes a reading negative to me is when the client acts like the 4 of Cups, not liking what is offered and refusing to see anything else in a positive light. It makes me sad.

How do you define a negative reading?